LOVE YOU, HATE YOU, FUCK YOU

December 28, 2009

A lot can happen in two weeks when you don’t answer your phone…

Like to see them do this after a few drinks.

JUST MADE MY DAY

December 19, 2009

Something about this just kills me. I started writing a play in freshman year of college that was about a kid who loses it and starts befriending the random objects in his room. This is way better.

From McSweeney’s

December 18, 2009

AN OPEN LETTER
TO THE INANIMATE OBJECTS
IN MY APARTMENT THAT
JUST SAT THERE WHILE
I WAS HEARTBROKEN.

Dear Inanimate Objects In My Apartment,

As you all have been completely unaware of, I fell in love, and she didn’t love me back. I spent four years trying to make the right kind of face for her only to realize she had been looking over my shoulder the whole time. Leaving her felt like disowning a vision of myself. But I did leave. And I went straight home to my parents and got in their RV and traveled around the country passing thousands of cows and people until I realized the world is a big place and I might as well try again. So, here I am—a smidge gin-besotted—trying.

Did you even notice that, Recycle Bin? No, you didn’t, just like you didn’t notice or care that you’ve been so overflowing with empty beer bottles for the last month that I’ve started lining them up around you. This could’ve made your neighbor, Galvanized Metal Trash Can, feel cramped or at least inadequate if it was filled with anything more sensitive than yesterday’s congealed beans. But, it’s not just you two. All of my inanimate “friends” are guilty of doing the same thing: nothing.

All of it

TIGER WOODS, HORNY BLASIAN

December 15, 2009

Not going to lie, it’s kind of comforting to know that even the biggest badass, billion dollar-grossing athlete like Tiger is sending moronic smiley-face texts day and night. Here’s some of his eloquent back and forth to his beloved cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs.

From the glorious rag that is the NY POST:

Tiger: Hey Sexy I can’t come out this week. Something came up family wise (July 20, 3:04 p.m.)

Jaimee: That’s okay I hope everything is fine … would have liked to see you

Tiger: We will make it happen

Jaimee: I drove out for the night to surprise a friend with a present for there birthday (July 26, 11: 22 p.m.)

Tiger: what kind of present your naked body

Jaimee: haha no a watch I slept alone

Tiger: alone with him that is

Jaimee: haha I wish

Jaimee: miss u (Sept. 27, 6:38 p.m.)

Tiger: now that’s hot so who is your new boy toy

Jaimee: no new boy toy … still running dry… been on 2 real dates in the pat 2 months 😦

Tiger: I need you

Read it all:

BETTER BUY THOSE SHOES, DUDE

December 12, 2009

Seriously. Or else.

MIXTAPE TUESDAY [#2]

December 9, 2009

Another Tuesday as it gets colder and darker out – hope some of these tunes put a bit of spring in your step. Enjoy!

Good Old War – “Coney Island”

First track from the ridiculously good “Only Way To Be Alone” LP from last year. The trio of Keith Goodwin, Daniel Schwartz and Tim Arnold mix the acoustic Simon And Garfunkel winter-in-New York-pathos with the jumpy, layered harmonies of harder-hitting folkies like Dr. Dog and What Laura Says.

John Fahey – “Desperate Man Blues”

I somehow never heard of steel-string guitar wizard Fahey [1939- 2001] until last week which is kind of embarrassing. His two disc Anthology which I picked up is a mind-bogglingly diverse set of acoustic mastery, ranging from somber slide blues to spooky Indian raga to grinning Hawaiian swing. He seems to mix a bit of everything together in many of the tunes.

Slim Harpo – “Raining In My Heart”

A cut from Bob Dylan’s “Theme Time” radio show [the theme was “Weather”] features the soulful crooning of Slim Harpo and his echo-dripped blues harp. The Louisiana-born songwriter and bandleader is one of many overlooked bluesman who never quite hit the spotlight even in the blues revival of the 1960’s and had to run his own trucking business for much of his working life.

Les Paul and Mary Ford – “The World Is Waiting For The Sunrise”

Sure, Mr. Paul just died so everyone is suddenly interested in him and his work but it’s as good a reason as any to start unearthing the eery, sweet and lightning fast swing-pop that Les and Mary recorded in their bedroom for decades. Some of the first examples of recorded layered overdubbing here makes Ford’s voice practically float across space as Paul’s tinkling, otherworldly guitar pushes it forward.

Langhorne Slim – “Boots Boy”

Recently-released LP “Be Set Free” shows this Philadelphia stage-stomper has fallen deeper into his gospel obsessions and there’s something endearing about the way he seems to nearly blow his voice out with each track.

South Austin Jug Band – “Raleigh & Spencer”

You think you can play fast? Probably not as fast as these guys. Hot diggity dog.

Project developed for Berlinale Talent Campus 2008.
Shot and edited in 48h.

Screenplay by David Bradley Halls, directed by Ted Chung. cinematography by Bianca Bodmer, music by Elena Titova and edited by Vincent Schmitt.

LADY GAGA / OPERA REMIX

December 1, 2009

Thanksgiving talent show. Wine. Lady Gaga. Opera. Go.